Twisted Canyon
Correct this paragraph?
Look at this paragraph (not a true story, it’s an assignment) and find and state the errors:
We were reminiscing yesterday about the time we took the toboggan down to the canyon for an adventurous excursion. We stampeded down the winding trail avoiding crevices at every twist. Our exhilarating journey came to a sudden conclusion when we plummeted into a thicket of brambles, but remarkably emerged without injury.
people think this is original… ‘course not, our teacher gave it to us, I looked it over and think I missed some, that’s why I put it here, can’t find it if it’s there.
Sounds like you were writing it out of a thesaurus because your teacher said to write a “descriptive” paragraph! I don’t think you really know what all the words mean.
First, why would you take a toboggan down to a canyon? You take one up a hill.
Second, no one would say an “adventurous excursion”. MAYBE adventure excursion — but that doesn’t really apply to simply riding a toboggan.
Third, if you “stampeded” were you ON the toboggan? Because if so, stampede is the wrong word.
etc. etc.
Jazz in the Canyon 2009 – “Twisted”
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